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"I want to kill myself!"
"Mom, I hate you!"
"I am a failure"
I turned the door handle and slowly opened the door. I walked into the room with my head down, I could hardly feel anything. I slowly sat down on the dark brown wooden chest next to the foot of the bed and looked up. I still had my scrubs on, and my stethoscope around my neck.
I was shaky and a little sweaty, then I opened my mouth and the words simply came out before I could even stop them..."I want to kill myself, I can't do this anymore, I am a failure and a disappointment"
November 2015 heralded the period in my life when I hit rock bottom. It lasted about 7 months, and I seriously considered killing myself on a daily basis following life's trauma: divorce, financial crises, single-motherhood, and a strong conviction that I was simply not good enough. I felt I had failed everyone, my children, my family, my spouse, and myself.
I went from a confident doctor to a shattered soul crying every day and overwhelmed with worthlessness, hopelessness, self-doubt, and anguish. I would drive up and down HI-410 here in San Antonio with no seatbelt on, and my rooftop down looking for a space to drive off the highway.
I was in daily pain and emotional exhaustion.
That was 5 years ago. Today, I am a freelance writer, a blogger, a youtuber, a podcaster, a bestselling author, and soon-to-be TEDx Speaker. I have turned my pain into my passion, and now help and empower parents, and teens with suicidal ideations find a path to thriving.
I have developed a system and framework that I have used to come back from those days of mental anguish, overwhelm and despair, and I have helped hundreds of teens and their parents go from challenge to change, and from waning to winning in their relationships with each other.
Are you a parent whose teen struggles with self-doubt, self-harm, or self-hate? Or do you find yourself struggling to understand your teen's attitude, the changes in their mood, what they are saying or even what they are doing? Send me a DM, or click the link below, and let's talk. Let's get to work. We shall blaze a path together that will help you and your struggling teen find freedom from their fears...
Remember, we are in this together.
I'll see you on the inside.
PS: I love you.
Dr. L
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